How do I help a friend going through a breakup?

Show up, feed her, and validate instead of fixing. In the first days she needs company and food more than advice. Ask "do you want comfort or a plan?", keep checking in after everyone else stops, and give her support for the hours you cannot cover, like the 2am spiral. Consistency over weeks beats intensity in week one.

What should I say to a friend after a breakup?

Keep it simple and validating: "This is awful, I am so sorry, and I am here." Avoid silver linings, timelines and ex-bashing. If in doubt, ask whether she wants comfort or solutions before offering either.

How long does my friend need support after a breakup?

Longer than the flowers last. Most women feel real relief somewhere between three and six months. The most valuable check-ins happen in month two and beyond, when the rest of the world has moved on and the grief has not.

What is a good gift for a friend going through a breakup?

Comfort plus staying power: food she does not have to organise, a small care package, and something that works at odd hours, like gifting The Breakup Bible app, which gives her an AI bestie for the 2am spirals, daily check-ins and a healing feed.

When should I worry about a friend after a breakup?

If she is barely eating or sleeping for more than a week or two, cannot work, withdraws from everyone, or says anything that scares you, help her get professional support: a GP, a therapist, or a crisis line if it feels urgent. Take heartbreak seriously; it is grief.

For her people

How to help a friend through a breakup

She is going to be okay, largely because she has someone who typed this search. Here is how to actually help, from tonight through month three.

The first 48 hours: be a paramedic, not a philosopher

Early heartbreak is a physiological event. Her stress hormones have spiked, sleep and appetite have crashed, and her brain is in genuine withdrawal. Nothing you say will fix that, so aim lower and land better: presence, food, water, tissues, and zero pressure to be coherent.

Go over, or get her to yours. Bring food that requires no decisions.
Let her tell the story as many times as she needs. Repetition is processing, not weakness.
Do not audit the relationship or announce you never liked him. She may reconcile, and either way she will remember.
Take the late shift if you can. The first nights are the worst part.
Leave her phone alone unless she asks. Confiscating it is a movie move; in real life, offer to hold it while she sleeps.

What do I actually say?

Less than you think. "This is awful. I am so sorry. I am here." covers ninety percent of the job. The one upgrade worth memorising: ask "do you want comfort or do you want a plan?" and honour the answer.

Retire the greatest hits: "everything happens for a reason", "plenty of fish", "you are better off", "at least you did not marry him". All of them ask her to feel better on your schedule. We wrote the full script, including copy-paste texts, in what to say to someone going through a breakup.

The long haul: month two is where friends are made

Support arrives in a wave in week one and evaporates by week four. Her grief does not. The friend who texts "how are you really doing?" in month two is the friend she will mention in speeches for the next decade.

Put recurring check-ins in your calendar. Genuinely. She will never know, and it will never matter.
Keep inviting her to things, even when she keeps saying no. The invitation is the point.
Mark the hard dates: the would-have-been anniversary, his birthday, hers. A "thinking of you today" text on those days is elite friendship.
Watch the surveillance habit. If she is deep in his Instagram at every catch-up, gently point her at how to stop checking his profile.
Send things sometimes: dinner, a small parcel, a stupid meme. Our list: what to send someone going through a breakup.

The 2am problem, and the gift that solves it

Here is the gap in every friendship, no matter how devoted: heartbreak peaks after midnight, and you have a job and a bedtime. The spiral hours, when she drafts the texts and rereads the old messages, are the hours no human supporter can reliably cover.

That is exactly what The Breakup Bible was built for. Luma, her AI breakup bestie, is awake at 2am, knows her story, and talks her through the wave without judgement. Daily check-ins keep her tethered, the journal catches what her brain will not put down, and the healthy scroll feed replaces the ex-surveillance with content that actually helps.

You can gift her a premium subscription from inside the app in about two minutes: download it, open Profile, choose Gift a Subscription, and send her the code. It works from any distance and keeps working month after month. Here is the step-by-step.

Gift the app

When to worry, and what to do about it

Most heartbreak is loud, messy and safe. But keep an eye on function: eating, sleeping, working, seeing people. If those stay collapsed past a week or two, if she has withdrawn from everyone, or if she says anything that frightens you, step up from supporter to advocate. Help her book a GP appointment, offer to drive her, and if anything feels urgent, contact a crisis line immediately. In Australia that is Lifeline on 13 11 14. No app, including ours, replaces professional care when it is needed.

The supporter's reading list

Going through it yourself? Start with the full breakup recovery guide or the two-minute stage quiz.