What do I say to someone going through a breakup?

What does she actually need to hear?

The job is company, not repair. Lines that land, in roughly the order she needs them:

• "I am so sorry. This is really hard." Full stop. No second clause.
• "You do not have to talk about it. I am here either way."
• "Whatever you are feeling right now is allowed."
• "Do you want comfort or do you want a plan?" This one question makes you a better supporter than most licensed professionals’ friends.
• "I am coming over with food. You do not have to tidy up or be okay."
• Weeks later: "How are you doing with everything, really?" The "really" tells her the window is still open.

What should I never say?

Most bad breakup comfort comes from a good place and lands like a slap. The classics to retire:

• "Everything happens for a reason." Her reason currently lives in his apartment. Skip the cosmic accounting.
• "Plenty of fish in the sea." She does not want fish. She wants to stop crying in the car.
• "You are better off without him." Maybe true, but say it early and she now cannot vent to you without defending him, or herself for having stayed.
• "I never liked him anyway." Same trap, with a bonus implication about her judgement. Save it for the memoir.
• "At least..." Nothing good has ever followed "at least" in a crisis.
• "You should..." Advice before she asks for it converts your support into homework.

What can I text her right now?

Copy, paste, adjust to taste. Texts beat calls in the early days because she can answer without performing composure.

• "No need to reply. Just know I am thinking about you today."
• "Dinner is arriving at yours at 7. It would be rude to make me eat alone over FaceTime."
• "Rating his decision zero stars. Rating you: still my favourite person."
• "What is your 2am brain doing? Mine is available for conference calls."
• "Walk tomorrow? No talking required, snacks provided."

What about when everyone else stops asking?

The casseroles arrive in week one, and by week four everyone has quietly moved on except her. The supporter who checks in during month two is worth ten who showed up on day one. Put a note in your calendar, genuinely, and send the "how are you really" text when the group chat has gone back to memes.

And for the hours you cannot cover, the 2am spiral, the Tuesday lunchtime wobble, you can give her support that is always awake. The Breakup Bible app has Luma, an AI breakup bestie, daily check-ins and a healing feed, and you can gift it to her. It is the care package that keeps showing up after the flowers die.